Openness

I wanted to write a little bit about our adoption situation and the wonderful new people who will always be apart of our family.
In the last two weeks I have had 2 baby showers for this little miracle that will be coming to our family. The Birth mom Brittany and her Grandmother Helen attended both. I know we received a lot of raised eyebrows from people wondering if I was putting myself in a position of getting hurt or if I was putting Brittany and her family and a difficult spot. I have had numerous amounts of people asking about our relationship with Brittany and how we are able to deal with that. Well let me tell you a little bit about our story and our relationship with this amazing young lady!
Yes, we have a very open relationship with Brittany and her family. We couldn't ask for a better situation. We enjoy spending lots of time with her and texting on almost a daily basis back and forth. My intentions in forming this relationship is to not only get to know Brittany for Masons sake but to be able to give Brittany the reassurance that she made a good decision, help support her, be a strength to her, and let her know that everything will be all right.
Brittany is the very strong silent type. She is very quiet but can also be very feisty when she wants to be. I don't know anyone that has been through the things she has and stands as strong as she does. People kept asking me after the showers, is she ok with being around all this, she seemed really sad? When I here that I feel like I have to defend my decision in having her there. We talk on a very open dialog and I know that it's obviously a wake up call to whats going on when you have someone else opening presents for your baby. Another reason why we love this girl is she is so supportive of us and has shown genuine interest and excitement with us along the way.
We made a deal that if anything makes her feel uncomfortable or she becomes to overwhelmed then she is more then welcome to step out or leave or whatever she needs to do. I would never put her in a position that makes her feel that way. I leave it up to her and what she can handle. So to answer the question that I'm sure everyone is thinking or has asked, she has been handling it very well! She wasn't even a bit sad, more just tired and sick of this awful heat we have had!

She has already put her in the position of thinking this child is not hers but ours. I would imagine in her situation that you would have to to be able to cope with your desicion and thats a good way to do it. At the shower we had in Logan I wanted everyone to write down their favorite essential item they love for their children and a bit of advice. I told Brittany, "Come on I want something from you to, he's your child!" Her Grandmother was very quick to say, "NO, he's not hers!"(in a loving kind way only grandmas can do). I thought about it for a second and said fine "our" baby. I can't grasp the fact that hes ours and not hers. He will always be hers but will be ours as well. This makes me think of that awful yet amazing few days we will have at the hospital when he's born. I know that there will be angels watching carefully over all of us and the spirit will be strong. It breaks my heart knowing what she is going to do. It aches so much for her knowing that she is placing this amazing baby into the care of someone else for Eternity. I can't even imagine what she will be facing emotionally. It is going to be a very emotionally draining day that will include peace, fear, happiness, sorrow and any other emotion that comes with it. I just know that it is going to be a very hard day and I'm not sure how I'm going to be happy knowing what Brittany will be doing for us. There is no other act of selflessness and love that anyone else could give us. These Women are such an inspiration to me and an amazing lesson on pure love, and strength. These Women deserve the most amazing blessings that our Heavenly Father can give them. I know for a fact that Brittany has and will have the choicest of Angels watching over her and some how will find strength and get through this.

All in all we have a wonderful extended family that will be joining us! The openness works for us in this situation but I'm sure it will be different with each Birth mom. The amazing thing about adoption is that it is truly the most spiritually guiding time in your life. It has been amazing to see everything fall into place. You are led and directed on how to handle each thing that arises. I feel confident and peaceful about the way we have handled things with Brittany and wouldn't change a thing.

We are expecting a phone call any day saying, get down here my water broke! She has 2 1/2 weeks left but he is turned and all the way down ready to go. We will keep everyone posted on the happenings as they come!

Thank you so much to everyone for your love and support. It means the world to Lance and I. We couldn't get through this with out it!