Witnessing a Miracle

I don't quite know where to start because I'm in such a hard/grateful/amazing place right now with placement being tomorrow. I apologize if this post is all over the place but that's how my brain and heart feel right now.

I wanted to document the day he was born so I wouldn't ever forget it but I don't knowhow I could!

It all started August 9th, 2010. Britt was to be induced at that morning. As we waited around for the go ahead to come over we were so antsy. We got a text about 10:30 telling us they were not going to induce her yet but stripped her membrane to see if that would help things along. All of us involved were crushed. Britt, Lance, me, and everyone else involved. It felt like Christmas morning waking up, going down stairs and having no presents under the tree. We weren't sure what to do; go home or stick around and see if anything progressed. We decided to wait for a bit and see how things progressed. Throughout the day I felt strongly that it was not time to go home, and we needed to stick around! We received a phone call about 8:30 saying she was at the hospital and they were going to keep her. Happy Day!

Got to the hospital and said hello to Britt then left to sit in the waiting room till we heard the big news. As the night progressed we kept receiving updates. At around 1:30 am the Dr. kicked us out of the room and said Britt needed to get some sleep before she needed to push. Lance tried getting me to leave and head back to house to get some rest at least for a bit. I said heck no I'm not going anywhere! At about 1:50 am the nurse came rushing out and said Grandma get in here this babies head is coming out! Grandma looked at me and said, come on. I was like um I don't think she want's me in there. She said no get in here! So very scared I ran in with her. I have never seen a live birth so this was all new.

I can't begin to describe to you the peace that was in that room. The nurse stuck me front and center! I saw his little head sticking out and nothing I could do to keep the tears from coming out were helping. When he came out, eyes were opened and he didn't cry one bit. Yes he was breathing. He had such a sweet spirit and of course still does. The only cry I heard come out of his mouth was just a tiny one for about 2 seconds when they gave him his second shot. He was so content. It was such an amazing thing to watch. I won't ever be able to express to Britt fully what a precious gift that was for me. It brought a whole new meaning to this adoption.

I loved being able to call Lance in to see this precious gift. His eyes were so full of light. I have never seen him happier except for the day he married me of course! But even then it's a different sparkle. I could tell he bonded at first glance.

We spent some time all together then Lance and I got to go into the nursery and give him his first bath and clean him up. He loved his bath!!! Lance also got a crash course on putting on his diaper. It was so cute! After that we wen't back to the room and spent time with the family.

We ended up leaving about 3:30 am to try and get some sleep. I slept for about 2 hours. How could anyone sleep after something like that? That was day number 1.

New Arrival!

Dirty Little Word = Great Blessings

CANCER! It is one dirty word but who would have thought it would bring so many amazing blessings! It's funny how things sort themselves out in life. Without Cancer I probably wouldn't be where I'm at in life. Probably wouldn't have married Lance, and in the process of getting this amazing little baby.

I can't say that when younger I saw myself having my "own" children.It's not something I never imagined or really thought of. For me I think adoption was always ingrained to my brain and spirit.When I was younger (around 6 or 7) I remember thinking on many occasions, " Why do people keep having more kids? There are so many kids who need homes!" I was so perplexed by this. Now I find myself understanding why.

This adoption process however it ends in the next few days has been an amazing experience with ups and downs but I have appreciated every moment. My best friends mom said something to me when I was younger that told me " When you adopt it is the most spiritually guiding time in your entire life." Boy she was not kidding! Mason was definitely being prepared for us.

Here we are the day before Brittany is induced and I find myself with complete comfort and peace. Whatever will be will be. I know that we will have angels seen and unseen gathered around us at that hospital in the next few days. I will try my hardest to relay the incredible feeling and hardache (in Brittany's behalf) we will be experiencing when that baby is born and when we have that baby placed in our arms. I think some things will just be to sacred to tell but other things I hope can be an inspiration for all those who read it.

Until next time, Farewell! I will be a changed woman in more ways then one the next I get back on here! Thanks again for everyones love and support!

Openness

I wanted to write a little bit about our adoption situation and the wonderful new people who will always be apart of our family.
In the last two weeks I have had 2 baby showers for this little miracle that will be coming to our family. The Birth mom Brittany and her Grandmother Helen attended both. I know we received a lot of raised eyebrows from people wondering if I was putting myself in a position of getting hurt or if I was putting Brittany and her family and a difficult spot. I have had numerous amounts of people asking about our relationship with Brittany and how we are able to deal with that. Well let me tell you a little bit about our story and our relationship with this amazing young lady!
Yes, we have a very open relationship with Brittany and her family. We couldn't ask for a better situation. We enjoy spending lots of time with her and texting on almost a daily basis back and forth. My intentions in forming this relationship is to not only get to know Brittany for Masons sake but to be able to give Brittany the reassurance that she made a good decision, help support her, be a strength to her, and let her know that everything will be all right.
Brittany is the very strong silent type. She is very quiet but can also be very feisty when she wants to be. I don't know anyone that has been through the things she has and stands as strong as she does. People kept asking me after the showers, is she ok with being around all this, she seemed really sad? When I here that I feel like I have to defend my decision in having her there. We talk on a very open dialog and I know that it's obviously a wake up call to whats going on when you have someone else opening presents for your baby. Another reason why we love this girl is she is so supportive of us and has shown genuine interest and excitement with us along the way.
We made a deal that if anything makes her feel uncomfortable or she becomes to overwhelmed then she is more then welcome to step out or leave or whatever she needs to do. I would never put her in a position that makes her feel that way. I leave it up to her and what she can handle. So to answer the question that I'm sure everyone is thinking or has asked, she has been handling it very well! She wasn't even a bit sad, more just tired and sick of this awful heat we have had!

She has already put her in the position of thinking this child is not hers but ours. I would imagine in her situation that you would have to to be able to cope with your desicion and thats a good way to do it. At the shower we had in Logan I wanted everyone to write down their favorite essential item they love for their children and a bit of advice. I told Brittany, "Come on I want something from you to, he's your child!" Her Grandmother was very quick to say, "NO, he's not hers!"(in a loving kind way only grandmas can do). I thought about it for a second and said fine "our" baby. I can't grasp the fact that hes ours and not hers. He will always be hers but will be ours as well. This makes me think of that awful yet amazing few days we will have at the hospital when he's born. I know that there will be angels watching carefully over all of us and the spirit will be strong. It breaks my heart knowing what she is going to do. It aches so much for her knowing that she is placing this amazing baby into the care of someone else for Eternity. I can't even imagine what she will be facing emotionally. It is going to be a very emotionally draining day that will include peace, fear, happiness, sorrow and any other emotion that comes with it. I just know that it is going to be a very hard day and I'm not sure how I'm going to be happy knowing what Brittany will be doing for us. There is no other act of selflessness and love that anyone else could give us. These Women are such an inspiration to me and an amazing lesson on pure love, and strength. These Women deserve the most amazing blessings that our Heavenly Father can give them. I know for a fact that Brittany has and will have the choicest of Angels watching over her and some how will find strength and get through this.

All in all we have a wonderful extended family that will be joining us! The openness works for us in this situation but I'm sure it will be different with each Birth mom. The amazing thing about adoption is that it is truly the most spiritually guiding time in your life. It has been amazing to see everything fall into place. You are led and directed on how to handle each thing that arises. I feel confident and peaceful about the way we have handled things with Brittany and wouldn't change a thing.

We are expecting a phone call any day saying, get down here my water broke! She has 2 1/2 weeks left but he is turned and all the way down ready to go. We will keep everyone posted on the happenings as they come!

Thank you so much to everyone for your love and support. It means the world to Lance and I. We couldn't get through this with out it!

3 Long dreadfully good years

Lance and I hit mile marker 3 today! We had a terribly romantic day.
I woke up to find a Thank You card that Lance had wrote sweet loving words to me which also led me on a scavenger hunt all over the house and to the mail box, where I found a card and specialty chocolate telling me all the different things he loves about me. Que the Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh card........ Thanks I know, so romantic! Later I took him on a special date out to dinner. I drove him to Ogden and we enjoyed a delicious dinner at GoodWood BBQ. A little store called Sephora caught my eye on the way out and all I had to do was bat my eyes. We looked around for a bit and I was very good and didn't spend a penny! We also stopped at a sporting goods store just to make it fair. We also did not spend a penny there! Funny enough we finished the evening with making a pit stop at Wal-mart to buy a box of diapers! Hey we may as well get use to it now!
Thanks for a crazy amazing 3 years my Scubby Whiz Water( Lance made that nickname up for himself, and insist I call him that)! I love you and wouldn't trade you for nothin!