Sometimes The Hardest Things And The Right Things Are The Same

I'm finally able to sit down and write about the day that broke my heart in two but also made it whole. I have had so many emotions going through me the last week that it has been hard to put anything into words. But here we go!
It was Friday the 13th, what a coincidence. I had showered about 8:30 and we got a phone call about 8:40 saying, " Can you be here in 20 minutes for placement?" I thought oh crap my hair is sopping wet and I have no makeup on, yep OK be there in 20 minutes! I was so frazled that I dont remember much up to the point that we got to the hospital. We got there and waited in the lobby with the caseworker. Brittany was in signing her papers for relinquishment. It struck me hard at that moment realizing what she was doing. She was giving up the one thing that was her. As we waited, we too signed our paperwork to take this child as ours. After she had a minute regain composure it was our turn to go in and see the family.


We walked in and the room was somber and sacred. I immediately went to the bed and embraced her. We both just sobbed together. My heart was breaking for her knowing the pain she was feeling. As soon as I would get myself together I would embrace her and start sobbing all over again. Were talking Crocodile tears!

One of the gifts we gave Brittany was a book called, The Kissing Hand. It's about doing hard things when you don't want to but know it's the right thing to do. In the book the momma racoon gives her son a kiss on his hand to take with him when he went to school. He was to put the hand next to his cheek whenever he felt lonely and wanted his mom, to remind him that she loved him. We had Brittany and Mason do the same. It was so tender when Brittany put her hand to his lips he started sucking on the palm of her hand.
There was a lot of peace in that room, so tangible. I wish I would have been able to concentrate more on that then the heartache I was feeling. After spending time together with Brittany and her Grandparents it was time to say our goodbye's. Brittany lovingly placed Baby Mason in my arms to symbolize us taking this sweet baby into our lives. It was a hard moment, but amazing.

We bawled some more........

Brittany was so strong through all of this. She truly is a remarkable young woman who I look up to so much. I could never Sacrifice the things that she has. Her strength gives me the strength to give this child everything and more she could ever want for him. All we could do was hold her tight and tell her Thank You. Where do you even start trying tell the mother of your child, Thanks.

We LOVE You Brittany! Thanks for blessing our family with something we could never give ourselves....... A FAMILY