The last few days I have been completely withdrawn from everything. About once or twice a month I hit a time where I just feel numb and my emotions are super heightened and I feel like hiding in my bed under the covers so I don't have to feel or deal with anything. Luckily I have Mason that keeps me going so I don't end up wallowing for days. I just have to keep telling myself that this always passes and will be over soon.
The last couple days I feel like I haven't been able to function and everything puts me in tears and I just want to stare at a wall or sleep. Normal things that I feel like I can handle on a normal bases now become the end of the world. For instance today finding out that LDS Family Services is fazing out their adoption services. This crushed me and in the end I know as of right now there is nothing to worry about and everything will work out but it's hard not to be scared. I should mention that its not till November that I should really worry about this. I also never get homesick but am sure feeling it bad right now! I just keep telling myself I'm going home in June.
I'm so grateful for Lance and feel like one lucky girl! He is always quick to step up to the plate and take on the household tasks and care for Mason. If I need some alone time he will either take Mason on an adventure or let me run away for a bit. He also makes sure the house is cleaned cause he knows that if the house isn't clean during these moments of stress it makes my anxiety hit a breaking point. He does all this along with trying to juggle school. He never let's me see if he's stressed during this time, which is amazing cause lets face it I'm hard to deal with when I'm in one of these moods. Today I'm just feeling really grateful that I have him by my side until it passes and even after. Love you Lance.
- Dani
2 comments:
Love you both, Dani. I'm so sorry you've hit a rough patch. When I get into a funk like that I take on the motto, "Just do the next thing" and I put all my focus into that next thing and I don't allow myself to think about anything else. And mostly the next things are things like, "Get my kids dressed", "make my bed", "feed everyone breakfast". You will get out of this funk. It will pass. Love you to pieces. I can't wait to hang with you in a couple of months. Give your whole family a squeeze for me. Hugs and hugs and hugs.
Hang in there, Dani. I agree wholeheartedly with Karen: Just do the next thing. I hate it when I get into that funk, too. Love to you!!
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