Decisions...Decisions.....Decisions

I have had so many things I have wanted to blog about lately but just haven't gotten to them. There was Lance's Birthday, 4th of July and lots of other things but they have passed so we won't go there. The biggest reason why I am throwing this blog in here is because things have simply just been stressing me out. I haven't been able to just relax for a while and it drives Lance crazy! I'm always planning or stressing on what him or I have to do next. He has been very patient with me!

Our latest dilemma has been INSURANCE! It has caused more then one problem for us, but I think it has also given us answers to many decisions we have had to make. Let me explain. It all started with the adoption process getting started. In order to adopt you have to have proof of insurance that you can provide insurance for a child. That got me thinking about what we were going to do for insurance once the plan we currently have is up. I have been keeping my eye out for something that will work in our situation which isn't very much. There is one plan that we had about a year ago that covered accident and illness, we were able to have it for a total of a year. I was thinking OK so we will just get on that plan again and add the child to the plan. Well I had made a phone call about getting back on this plan but I found out that one of the questions on the paperwork for the insurance was, are you in the process of adoption? Well crap there goes that! If you are in the process you will be denied! There goes my option for insurance unless my husband tries to find a new job that pays what his current job pays with benefits. Not so easy right now. No insurance means no baby!

All these things just kept hitting us. When I had finished the phone call about the insurance I had a nervous breakdown because all Lance and I want are to be parents. I couldn't handle it so I took a minute to breakdown. I then picked myself up and pulled myself together. I just keeping thinking to myself why does everything in my life have to have so many loops and hoops and twists and turns. Never is there a nice paved road. Such is Life! Grin it and bair it. As I have been thinking about how on earth are we going to do this. Well I won't bore you with all the other info since you have the gist.

Lance and I have been thinking the last couple days that maybe we need to wait on the adoption. As hard as that is to swallow and accept it takes care of alot of the stresses I'm feeling which maybe a sign that our little baby isn't ready for us yet or that Lance and I just need more time. That's the conclusion we have come to and who knows maybe after we go talk to a caseworker we will feel differently. Things change.

There is good news in the insurance department. The state of Utah has a plan for people who are uninsurable. It can get costly but it's doable. So there is relief through this whole mess and it feels great! Now what am I going to have to worry about? Ahhh yes! Lance getting his Medical School applications in! I will always have something to worry about!

P.s. Sorry for the rambling but it feels really good to just write all this down and get it out of my brain and relax! Thanks for listening( or reading)!